Uni-Mom

So, there's nothing quite like sitting on the couch with the wife watching TV when the news flashes on an Octomom story. Any time that woman's face crosses our 40-inch 1080p LCD TV I can feel the heat start to radiate from my wife's eye sockets. She gets this look of disdain on her face... and I know it's only a matter of time before she starts in.

"Oooh I can't stand this woman. Can you believe her? It's like she's just basking in all this attention. I feel so sorry for those kids."

"Must be kinda embarassing walking around with that name 'Octomom'... she'll never live that one down."

"Oh, I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. No one forced her to have eight kids."

"Fourteen. And not that I'm taking her side but... well, no one forced you to get pregnant either.... When the kid arrives, should we call you 'Uni-Mom'?

[glare]

"I dunno, it's got a kind of a....."

"No... don't say it"

"It sounds like a superhero name.... 'Uni-Mom'..... 'Octomom' can be your evil arch-nemesis."

"You would think of that."

"Think of the kid calling that across the yard... 'UUUUUUUUni MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM' "

[glare]

"Okay, we'll just get him a Jimmy Olsen emergency signal watch"

"Jimmy who?"

"I find your lack of understanding of American pop culture disturbing."

[glare] "Why don't you find your way to moving the sheets to the dryer?"

"Oh indeed.... no use picking a fight with Uni-Mom... and her sidekick Loofir"

[throws pillow]