Jean: Have you talked to Amanda recently?I'm not sure when my family got so dysfunctional. It was a slow process, I think... starting with my brother (Richard) turning into a stoner/slacker in his youth. (he's been the black sheep ever since) It was the conflict over how to deal with him that eventually split my parents up (although there was other stuff,too) Then my second sister started systematically detaching herself from everyone. Jean may be right, I'm the only person left on speaking terms with everyone else in the family (hard to tell, Amanda may have severed all ties at this point)
Me: No, she hasn't returned my calls in a while.
Jean: Well, you may be the last person in the family she's still talking to...
Me: *Sigh* What happened?
Jean: Dad was trying to get a hold of her, he needs her SSN to name her as a beneficiary. Of course she isn't talking to him, so he asked me to do it. When she found out I was calling on his behalf, she hung up. She hasn't returned any of my calls since.
I know it sounds funny, but somehow that seems selfish. I manage to maintain my stability despite all the drama going on in other quarters in the family unit... almost as if I'm an outside observer to it all. I know that's not a bad thing. In fact it's something of a blessing; I have a stable marriage, a good job and good friends.
Jean seems a little sad... I think she gets caught up in the family drama more than I do. She's living in San Diego where my parents (who really aren't speaking to each other) also live. She bounces back and forth between them... a lunch here, a dinner and a movie there. I think it's tough. At least she's married to a good man and has her own life in order.
But Jean and I feel like we've become the only thing that's holding what little sense of family we have left. Eventually (maybe soon) it will be just the two of us (and our spouses) at the holidays. I don't dwell on it much, but once in a while I see a family photo from a long time ago and it makes me sad.
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