A while back my in-laws offered to watch our baby Cameron for us when both my wife and I went back to work (at least until Summer). They live almost an hour away from us. The offer involved dropping Cameron off on Sunday night, and picking him up on the following Friday. We'd save money, not have to worry about who was watching our child during the day, and we'd get loads done during the week. The drawbacks, however, are pretty obvious - Five days at a time without our son at home. And since I have a second job on Saturdays, I'd be missing out on that much more time with him.
When they first offered, both my wife and I gently turned them down. I didn't mind that they brought it up - they are good people and they want to help us out. They did watch him for over a week while my wife and I focused on moving into the new house... and I had no problem with that. But ever since I went back to work, my wife has been bringing it up occasionally. I think she's been getting a little ragged, having to watch Cameron all by herself during the day. I think it's starting to wear her down... and perhaps she doesn't see how we're going to manage the logistics of getting him to and from daycare once she goes back to work herself in January.
I don't know, there are times when the idea is tempting... but when I really try to process it, there's a strong part of me that stubbornly refuses to accept it. Difficult as it may be, I don't see how I can let someone else care for my son. I don't see how I can live without seeing him every day. It feels about as wrong as if I were thinking about eating him.
I haven't given a definitive yes or no, although she knows I'm not comfortable with the idea. At the same time, I can see how tired she's getting as each day runs into the next, with her only getting occasional breaks when I get home. I really don't know what to do.
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Wow, this is a tough one. I tried doing the work-at-home-mom thing and it just about killed me. I longed to get out, and when I did, I longed to talk about anything other than babies.
It's wonderful that you in-laws would want to have him so much. My mom and her husband couldn't handle my extremely active child for more than 48 hours at a time, usually just one night. They also lived 90 minutes away (assuming no traffic).
I agree that you'd be missing out on a lot being apart all week. Have you considered each working a 4 day week with one day at home with him and 3 days with the in-laws? Or 3 days with the in-laws and 2 days at daycare? In that case perhaps you can reschedule some of your Saturday lessons on the kid-free evenings?
Also, there are many options for day-care in California, some of which are very flexible. The logistics may seem daunting, but you'll get used to it. I also suggest that you learn to love driving; now that you're parents, you'll be doing a lot more of it. Good luck!
Go with her to her six week check up. It could be post partum depression.
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