Yes Dear

There's something I accepted a long time ago - wives own the house. Husbands - if we're lucky, may get one room - and even if that room is the garage, we get to arrange it as we see fit - that is unless the wife has need of the space. Then we're screwed. But every other decision ultimately gets approved or vetoed by the wife. Asking the husband for his opinion is a formality - and usually only serves to give the husband the opportunity to agree with the wife. If the husband doesn't agree with the wife, it becomes a moot point.

Case in point - today we added a small breakfast table and a couple of chairs to our upstairs patio. I wanted an umbrella - she wans't sure. We brought home an umbrella, under the agreement that I would be the one to return it if it didn't work out. Translation: I was destined to return it from the start. I assembled the whole package and presented it. Everything was fine, except for the umbrella, of course. A short argument ensued, which ended abruptly with me saying "Of course I'm taking the umbrella back - you hate it and your opinions is the final one."

I know she hates admitting that she is the final decision maker - she doesn't want the stigma that comes with it. But the truth is - This aspect of the relationship can become pretty one-sided when one person does a majority of the compromising. I only get to make decisions about things she doesn't care about. When the chips are down - the pecking order appears. I'm not going to fight it, but I do resent the idea that we should pretend that it doesn't exist. To that end she asks me my opinion on things when we both know that it doesn't matter - or offers choices when she'll argue (and get) her choice in the end. It comes off as way more insulting than just saying "I have the final say, just get used to it."